melancholy

As Bobby mentioned in a comment, whenever I write an entry in this journal I seem to be melancholy. That is pretty much the truth. There is no other spot I can actually write down my true feelings about things.

My "normal" journal gets read by family members and friends that don't need to know details. But sometimes I need "real" friends, someone to listen, someone to give me feedback.

Today is mother's day. For those who don't know, I have two kids, both now grown with kids of their own (yep, I'm a grandma). Yes, I know that this day is too "commercial" and not all THAT important. But still, you'd think at least one of my kids would have called, or sent an email..... but instead I spent the whole day alone, the telephone silent.

The past weeks were filled with family activities. I spent hours helping my daughter move. I acted as a chauffer for family members at my son's daughter's baptism. I was on the go the past weeks, with my job, for my son, for my daughter. You'd think I'd enjoy having "nothing" to do today (well, the weather kind of canceled the planned business trip... spending the day checking the weather and trying to decide "go or no go" doesn't help).

Why do I feel so alone? My special someone spent the day with his own mother. Why did it bother me that I got no flowers from my kids, or an invitation for coffee? Today is nothing special.... it's just another Sunday like all the others....

Like the Lady of the Shores.... stareing wistfully beyond the waters ... wondering how long I can continue to wait before I feel really content.

I have so much going for me... yet I dwell too much....